


Hot and Cold

by DreamingOf4A



Category: Figure Skating RPF
Genre: Ambiguous Relationships, Friendship, Frustration, Gen, Helsinki GP, M/M, Rivalry, Self-Reflection, rinkmates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-16
Updated: 2018-11-16
Packaged: 2019-08-24 14:51:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,278
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16642319
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DreamingOf4A/pseuds/DreamingOf4A
Summary: "Javi never gave up on Yuzu.Yuzu would never give up on Javi."The Javi banner at Helsinki GP makes Yuzu think about his mixed feelings towards his ex-rinkmate





	Hot and Cold

**Author's Note:**

> The banner, in case you missed it: https://twitter.com/hopeIegacy/status/1058295626964836354/photo/1

_Disclaimer: This story is fiction and does not in any way reflect on the real life people that share their names with these characters. It is also not intended to offend or disrespect and it exists simply because I find it really interesting to imagine how other people - potentially - live their lives._

While skating around aimlessly, waiting for the strange gala practice to be over - for them; the ladies, pairs and ice dancers would continue practicing - Yuzu’s attention drifted to the banners. 

Mounted way up high, he actually couldn’t read most of them. And it looked like staff was already taking them down, too.

But then his eyes landed on light blue and he remembered Brian pointing that one out.

A banner for Javi.

Skating up to the boards to try to get closer, he looked up at it.

Life without Javi… was pretty bleak.

Maybe it wasn’t as hard to find motivation as he’d expected. But it felt like there was less color in the world, now that Javi wasn’t around anymore.

He admitted he had held a tiny hope that with two Spanish pairs in the Helsinki Grand Prix, and it being in Europe, Javi might come cheer for them.

Of course, that didn’t happen.

He’d also felt a bit of hope when someone had told him Javi was coming to Toronto after Japan Open and until early November to get his new programs.

In the end, with David and Sandra heading to Spain for Javi’s ice show, that didn’t happen either.

In all fairness, Yuzu was as mad at Javi as he missed him.

So much potential that Javi hadn’t bothered to fulfill.

It went back to the post-Boston season. Yuzu knew better than anyone that if Javi had really wanted to, he could have joined him in challenging quad loop that season. But Javi had been put off by Yuzu’s struggles and had concluded he didn’t need it.

Then Javi had gone into the Olympics knowing he could podium. If one of the others wasn’t clean. It was an attitude Yuzu himself could not understand, especially when Javi had the tools to challenge technically as well.

They had really butted heads because sometimes Yuzu got frustrated enough to express his opinion in very undiplomatic English.

On top of that, Javi had done ice shows and going home and girlfriends and all sorts of stuff… he knew Javi could never be the recluse he was, but doing stuff like that in the middle of the season was insane. Especially the middle of the Olympic Season.

And now… now Javi claimed he wanted to win the European title for the 7th time, but didn’t really seem inclined to do anything about it. He knew promoting was essential for Javi now. But he was definitely not promoting a week in Muskoka after Brian’s ice show. Or on any of his other vacations with his girlfriend. Dimitri and Mikhail might not have done great in Grand Prixs so far, but they were fierce competitors. And Michal was in great shape. Either of them could easily take that European title.

And whenever he thought about it, Yuzu felt frustrated enough he could scream.

He wanted everything for Javi! The titles, the medals, the success in Spain, the respect.

Because Javi deserved everything. He deserved all the titles and all the gold medals and all the success!

And Yuzuru hated it so much that he could never truly thank Javi for everything he’d done for him.

David had once said that Yuzuru had the power to will things into existence. Yuzuru wanted nothing more than to will Javi’s all around success and happiness into existence. But he knew he couldn’t, so Javi not doing what he could for it frustrated him beyond belief.

“Yuzu! They’re ready for us. Just a few more minutes, then we can go warm up.” Jun approached him.

Snapping out of his thoughts to try not to kill anyone with the power of his kuyashii - now directed at Javi instead of himself, as usual - he turned around, plastering a pleasant look on his face.

“Ok, thanks.”

He had to get back to work and get his results.

In a way, he felt he owed this to Javi, too. He knew he’d gone too far when he’d told Javi he couldn’t do it without him. Piling on guilt or at least uncomfortable feelings. So now he felt he had to show Javi that he was fine. That he COULD do it without Javi and that Javi should just worry about himself.

Not that Javi had shown any signs of worrying for him.

They hadn’t spoken in 4 months. Not since Yuzu had left ahead of the rest of the Fantasy on Ice cast in Shizuoka, to head to Tokyo and get ready to receive the People’s Award.

That time, there had been a quick hug and a “Take care” and a “See you in Toronto.”

With how this year had gone so far, Yuzu wondered if by the time Javi went back to Toronto, Yuzu will have retired and wouldn’t be there anymore.

“Yuzu?”

“Uh… yeah?” Yuzu startled.

“I think chances of you losing are super small by now, so most probably you’ll be last to go out in the Finale. Is that cool?”

“Err sure.”

“Anything special you want to do? A jump or so?”

“Ah, no… probably just… knee slide or… yeah.”

“Ok. Yuzu - knee slide.”

The choreographer continued discussing details of the finale and Yuzu zoned out again.

He knew Brian had offered Javi a coaching job in Toronto. But he also knew that for now, Javi had to take advantage of his current fame as Olympic Bronze Medalist.

So, he feared that by the time Javi came to start coaching in Toronto, Yuzu himself will have retired and moved back to Japan.

He knew Brian dreamed of having both himself and Javi coaching at the Cricket Club. But by now Yuzu knew coaching would not happen anytime soon for him, if at all…

Of course, he would still see Javi in ice shows. Although Javi said he wouldn’t start coaching properly until he stopped doing ice shows.

Speaking of ice shows, part of him was still bitter that Javi went to a gazillion ice shows around the world but could not make time for Yuzu’s. That same part pettily considered never inviting him again. In fact, he knew he had the power to prevent Javi from ever skating in any ice show in Japan again. Or at the very least, any ice show Yuzu was in. 

Not that he ever would.

Any issues aside, Yuzu knew Javi was a great performer and the Japanese public loved him.

But at the end of the day, even with issues like this or being mad or frustrated at him, Yuzu loved him, too.

Now that he’d ever said it or ever would.

But Javi was safe as far as Yuzu was concerned.

And he would keep inviting him, no matter what. 

Just like Javi never stopped inviting Yuzu to hang out away from the rink, despite being constantly refused.

Javi never gave up on Yuzu.

Yuzu would never give up on Javi.

Maybe the world would never really understand their relationship. 

But it didn’t matter.

He and Javi simply were.

And distance or not, for as long as Yuzu could help it, they always would be.

“Yuzu! Warm up! Are you coming?” Jun shouted from near the boards while Yuzu was still spacing out in the middle of the rink.

“Yes, coming!”

Putting Javi out of his mind, Yuzu switched gears.

Time to break some records.

**Author's Note:**

> I've missed reading some somewhat canon Yuzu/Javi fics, but my own inspiration has taken a setback, especially with all the traveling lately. But I really wanted to write something about Yuzu seeing that banner and thinking about Javi. The rest is more my frustration lol I don't know if Yuzu would feel close enough to Javi to actually voice any objections, but I CAN imagine him frustrated at Javi not going as all out as he does. He obviously holds Javi in great esteem, so I suspect he'd believe Javi could keep up with him, if he really wanted to... or maybe not. No idea... But this idea popped up and it worked lol


End file.
